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Debbie Flint

Debbie Flint

I just love the fact that I live in Devon now - check out this beautiful sight I saw on one of this week's dog walks - click here to see the video - do you ever see these? Magical or what? click here to see video of a beautiful dragonfly...

Talking of magical, I'm not far from Cornwall so I must go and see Tintagel at some stage - home, apparently, according to ancient mythology, of King Arthur. And a very good film it was too! Went to see it in Okehampton this week with Wendy and I must say it was very very good. More on my QVC blog but do go see it if you can. I loved Guy Ritchie's directing - yes it was a bit self-indulgent at times, but I really liked it and I have to say with some key shots being no longer than a second, blink and you'll miss it, it kept the pace rip-roaring along, so I didn't fall asleep one bit. Mixed reviews but I loved it - and Charlie Hunnam was hot and very watchable on screen - a bit Tom Hardy I must say. He should have been Christian Gray but backed out. Fifty Shades lost out there that's for sure...

A Book first - how exciting is this! A proper French translation in paperback of my very first novel! Was ever so chuffed! More here.

Also on my QVC blog - lots more pics of the week, plus some fabulous TSV sneaky peeks - it'll be here late Friday.

And that story... is coming honest... more soon, come back for full blog late Friday.

d

x

ps Fancy a Stay in Devon? Would you like to come down? I’ve got a new date for QVC viewers,  if you are one, and fancy a fab full board stay – you can inspect the new kitchen and decide if Daisy and Gracie have indeed got trimmer! More info here, or just email me This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. . It’s 26th June and can include yoga/walking and wholesome food – and wine! £90 pppn if you book soon – do come?

And still time to decide on which songs I should sing in September, at the event happening in Devon – can you come? It’s in Torrington at the Plough, and will feature classics like ‘What a difference a Day Makes’ and ‘That Ole Devil Love’– more here if you’d like to choose from the list of songs – which is your favourite?

 

That blog on emotional bullying  is worth reading – click here – it’s now had nearly 5200 views and am very glad it’s helping so many people when they find out they’re not alone.

pps  

Ps check out the new pic of all my paperbacks together! More about how to get your copy is here.

 

Ps my new Till the Fat Lady Slims book is now out on Amazon here, and there’s such an amazing support system on Facebook on theTTFLS group here - do come join us!

New QVC - featuring sneaky peeks and pics of deals from the next seven days so do go look! NB any Early Bird order links will appear first on my blog page here - do go look on a regular basis!

for info about my paperbacks and ebooks for sale now, go here 

for all my social media and to keep in touch go here

x

Donne-moi ma chance, eh! Well it turns out that's 'Take a Chance on Me' in French - well, the equivalent anyway.

Last week I got my very first delivery of these paperbacks, and was duly chuffed. Not only had my publisher Choc Lit sold the French rights, another first, but now it's available in French! So it was a very special event, with this big 'first' coming true. The very first time my own novel has been published in another language! I know there may not be that many people who read French, but this is available in Canada apparently… How proud I am I? 

Other news –

  • June dates - Still time to book on one of next month’s hols at Retreats for You in Devon -writing holidays for people who want to do nothing but write and be looked after in beautiful surroundings. From £80 per person per night full board inc wine, if you book before 31st May. More here. 
  • June offer - last minute offer to go to a tutored retreat in Devon If you've always wanted to get a book published , need help getting an agent, with your first chapter or submission letter, Sara Sarre can help - come to Retreats for You in Devon for four nights at the start of June and get a head start from a top editor and advisor for a top agent, Sara Sarre from the Blue Pencil Agency. More here.
  • RFY - and all the retreats are gradually getting booked up including the one for writing memoirs, the one with an editor who will help you with your first chapter and submission and the one with top author and book doctor Julie Cohen. More here.
  • A new short story from me – read it on my website here, and don’t forget to subscribe to receive all my news in a regular email update!

Beginners’ Guide And if you’re a complete beginner and want to self-publish, my basic guide can be found here - beginner's tips for self-publishing - a summary of info, sites and links to help you on your way. Including my guest blog on prestigious industry website, TheCreativePenn.com, Go here to read more.

Archives Don’t forget to check out the other archives (to the left) for even more fabulous hints, tips, links and blogs.

Best wishes

Debs

X

My books - For the full list of my fiction and non fiction novels, novellas, short stories - info and links to buy them just go here. or see below.

As usual, here’s the round up of my own titles! I’d appreciate a review on Amazon (go here) andGoodreads (go here)! Enjoy! x

eBooks - all available on Amazon – paperback or eBook (kindle or kindle app or kindle on PC or Mac)

paperbacks – five fiction titles all available in paperback – via Amazon – see below.

 

 

FICTION

HAWAIIAN TRILOGY (2013/4) – romantic fiction in either steamy or PG options!

Book 1 Hawaiian Escape Steamy or Hawaiian Escape PG, the prequel to Hawaiian Affair - is now available on Amazon in eBook or paperback in both PG original and steamy (just released last week!).

Book 2 Hawaiian Affair Steamy - now called Take a Chance on Me, with Choc Lit publisher available on Amazon. Paperback coming to shops Dec 2015! yay!

Book 3 Hawaiian Retreat - Helen's Story - Just click this link to see steamy version. Paperback also available

DIARY OF A WANNABE SHOPPING CHANNEL PRESENTER – a stand alone story – Bridget Jones meets Alan Partridge meets Eddie Murphy in ‘Holy Man’ –click here to buy Ebook on amazon, and click here to buy paperback.

 

SHORT STORIES

‘When Dreams Return’ (2014) – spooky romantic short story – when Chelle’s pal Sara gets her to conjure up her ideal man with a full moon magic spell, she gets more than she bargained for… also appears in Hocus Pocus anthology.

The Valentine’s Surprise (2010) is a short story proving it’s never too late to find your Sir Galahad!

And Work in Progress, a compendium in paperback of Dairy of a Wannabe plus the two short stories in one volume.

Also – for Hallowe’en – an anthology of short spooky stories by 13 authors including many new shorts and my When Dreams Return in paperback! Hocus Pocus ’14 – ebook or paperback.

'Battle of the Exes', written for Valentine's Day 2015, features in 'Roses are Red' anthology of six short stories on Amazon ebook and paperback too.

NON-FICTION

Till the Fat Lady Slims 2.0 – the ‘When’ Diet - is my semi-autobiographical weight loss book – updated for 2014 to include the latest thinking about nutrition. Learn how to eat like slim people do.

Go here to get Till the Fat Lady Slims 3.0 – Tips and Tale to Inspire on amazon

Go here to get its predecessor (read 2.0 first) Till the Fat Lady Slims 2.0 – the When diet on amazon

Till the Fat Lady Slims 2017 version - 'how I broke free from Food Prison forever'

now available in bookshops to order, and online on all platforms, as well as on amazon here.

Regulars will know I’m a massive Jack Reacher fan – ever since I interviewed Lee Child on QVC in 2011 when he launched his prequel ‘The Affair’ – I voraciously devoured all 16 of his Reacher novels and found myself another hero to follow.

Well the short stories are a little appetiser in between the main courses that constitute his mostly annual new releases and this week I listened to Not a Drill.

It’s a brief foray into one of Reacher’s encounters, this time with some ramblers in deepest Maine’s ancient forests. Julie Cohen my writing mentor would love this, as she comes from Maine! What I most loved about this was narrator Kerry Shale’s accents – his precision is admirable. Very entertaining and another great read.

"The tiny town of Naismith has nothing going for it - except the start of a wilderness trail through Maine's ancient forests. But one day the trail is suddenly closed by county police.

No reason is given. Rumours start - is there something in the woods that no one must see? That no one must even know about? Then Jack Reacher drifts into town. What does he make of the Do Not Enter tape strung between the trees…"

 More here on Amazon. BUT if you’re going to get his short stories, get the whole lot, called ‘No Middle Name (which of course Jack Reacher has) on audible as a single volume – it’s ELEVEN hours long - get it here.

Plus – listen for free to a full interview here with Lee Child talking about his work, his writing, the novel Night School, (which I loved) and his thoughts on Tom Cruise playing 6’4 Jack Reacher on the big screen.

Meanwhile I’ve already pre-ordered The Midnight Line, the next novel, Jack Reacher 22, due out in November. …

Other news –

  • June dates - Still time to book on one of next month’s hols at Retreats for You in Devon -writing holidays for people who want to do nothing but write and be looked after in beautiful surroundings. From £80 per person per night full board inc wine, if you book before 31st May. More here. 
  • June offer - last minute offer to go to a tutored retreat in Devon If you've always wanted to get a book published , need help getting an agent, with your first chapter or submission letter, Sara Sarre can help - come to Retreats for You in Devon for four nights at the start of June and get a head start from a top editor and advisor for a top agent, Sara Sarre from the Blue Pencil Agency. More here.
  • RFY - and all the retreats are gradually getting booked up including the one for writing memoirs, the one with an editor who will help you with your first chapter and submission and the one with top author and book doctor Julie Cohen. More here.
  • A new short story from me – read it on my website here, and don’t forget to subscribe to receive all my news in a regular email update!

Beginners’ Guide And if you’re a complete beginner and want to self-publish, my basic guide can be found here - beginner's tips for self-publishing - a summary of info, sites and links to help you on your way. Including my guest blog on prestigious industry website, TheCreativePenn.com, Go here to read more.

Archives Don’t forget to check out the other archives (to the left) for even more fabulous hints, tips, links and blogs.

Best wishes

Debs

X

My books - For the full list of my fiction and non fiction novels, novellas, short stories - info and links to buy them just go here. or see below.

As usual, here’s the round up of my own titles! I’d appreciate a review on Amazon (go here) and Goodreads (go here)! Enjoy! x

eBooks - all available on Amazon – paperback or eBook (kindle or kindle app or kindle on PC or Mac)

paperbacks – five fiction titles all available in paperback – via Amazon – see below.

 

 

FICTION

HAWAIIAN TRILOGY (2013/4) – romantic fiction in either steamy or PG options!

Book 1 Hawaiian Escape Steamy or Hawaiian Escape PG, the prequel to Hawaiian Affair - is now available on Amazon in eBook or paperback in both PG original and steamy (just released last week!).

Book 2 Hawaiian Affair Steamy - now called Take a Chance on Me, with Choc Lit publisher available on Amazon. Paperback coming to shops Dec 2015! yay!

Book 3 Hawaiian Retreat - Helen's Story - Just click this link to see steamy version. Paperback also available

DIARY OF A WANNABE SHOPPING CHANNEL PRESENTER – a stand alone story – Bridget Jones meets Alan Partridge meets Eddie Murphy in ‘Holy Man’ –click here to buy Ebook on amazon, and click here to buy paperback.

 

SHORT STORIES

‘When Dreams Return’ (2014) – spooky romantic short story – when Chelle’s pal Sara gets her to conjure up her ideal man with a full moon magic spell, she gets more than she bargained for… also appears in Hocus Pocus anthology.

The Valentine’s Surprise (2010) is a short story proving it’s never too late to find your Sir Galahad!

And Work in Progress, a compendium in paperback of Dairy of a Wannabe plus the two short stories in one volume.

Also – for Hallowe’en – an anthology of short spooky stories by 13 authors including many new shorts and my When Dreams Return in paperback! Hocus Pocus ’14 – ebook or paperback.

'Battle of the Exes', written for Valentine's Day 2015, features in 'Roses are Red' anthology of six short stories on Amazon ebook and paperback too.

NON-FICTION

Till the Fat Lady Slims 2.0 – the ‘When’ Diet - is my semi-autobiographical weight loss book – updated for 2014 to include the latest thinking about nutrition. Learn how to eat like slim people do.

Go here to get Till the Fat Lady Slims 3.0 – Tips and Tale to Inspire on amazon

Go here to get its predecessor (read 2.0 first) Till the Fat Lady Slims 2.0 – the When diet on amazon

Till the Fat Lady Slims 2017 version - 'how I broke free from Food Prison forever'

now available in bookshops to order, and online on all platforms, as well as on amazon here.

 

 

Debs news

Burning Question of the Day – Does your Brain do this Weird Thing too?

Had to laugh this week, when my brain did a weird thing after painting the kitchen walls at our Devon guest house, Retreats for You – and I need your thoughts on it too. I was listening to a particular TV programme whilst doing the kitchen window frame – and blow me, now if I look at the frame I can conjure up exactly what was going on at that moment, down to the actual topic of conversation between the two interviewees! Why does the brain do that? Does yours? If you’d like to hear a couple of other examples of mine, from when that’s happened in the past, just watch this Vlog I did where I discussed it, as I walked along the river Torridge last week during my six nights off, after I got back from France. By the way, just click that link – you don’t have to be on Facebook to access these vlogs (but if you are, ‘like’ the page to not miss any).

When I did that post, Karen T said – ‘My brain keeps remembering favourite clothing and accessories I used to have years ago in relation to places and other triggers. Odd ball! Even stuff I had when I was ten! Vivid memories of colours, fabrics- even an Old England purple wrist watch with HUGE Roman numerals my sister bought me from Carnaby Street in the 1960s. And a few jersey/crimplene mini skirts from Chelsea Girl- it goes on... weird!’

And Andy H said ‘This is so true, I was working on a drawing of an interior decades ago and the radio was serialising 'The Good Soldier Sveg' by Jaroslav Hasek, it's as though one activity cements the other in the brain.’

Whereas Laura D said a brilliant one – ‘My weirdest one is when I turn on the shower - I think of having lunch in a certain restaurant with one of my friends! I think of what we ate, what we spoke about - even about a window cleaner who was cleaning the windows of the restaurant. Heaven knows what the connection is to the shower!!! Just weird! I often wondered if it was just me ....so I'm very relieved to hear it happens to you too Debbie!’

Anyway…

The kitchen is now done. The kitchen…

Is…

Now…

Done.

*Siiiiiigh.*

It fills me with glee to say that. And I can’t wait to see Wendy’s reaction when she walks in and sees the whole thing newly painted and gleaming too! More on this week’s QVC blog here (out Fri pm) also including Early Bird links to both Liz Earle AND OPI tsv deals launching soon.

Fancy a Stay in Devon? Would you like to come down? I’ve got a new date for QVC viewers,  if you are one, and fancy a fab full board stay – you can inspect the new kitchen and decide if Daisy and Gracie have indeed got trimmer! More info here, or just email me This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. . It’s 26th June and can include yoga/walking and wholesome food – and wine! £90 pppn if you book soon – do come?

Other news -

Book of the week is the Jack Reacher short story, Not a Drill, click here for more info – including about a freebie  – two in fact, not just his free audible interview including his opinion about Tom Cruise playing 6’4” Jack Reacher on the big screen, but also my new short story, a freebie available on my website from MONDAY LATE (apologies for delay).

And still time to decide on which songs I should sing in September, at the event happening in Devon – can you come? It’s in Torrington at the Plough, and will feature classics like ‘What a difference a Day Makes’ and ‘That Ole Devil Love’ – more here if you’d like to choose from the list of songs – which is your favourite?

Have a fun week!

Best wishes

Debs

X

Ps Mid Life Crunch Regulars will know of my own personal issues years ago with depression, so it was interesting to read Carol Vorderman’s articles this week. Another subject it’s vital to talk about – especially since last week was Mental Health Awareness Week. If it’s someone else’s emotional battering getting you down, though, it’s worth reading this blog – click here – it’s now had nearly 4500 views and am very glad it’s helping so many people when they find out they’re not alone.

pps  

Ps check out the new pic of all my paperbacks together! More about how to get your copy is here.

 

Ps my new Till the Fat Lady Slims book is now out on Amazon here, and there’s such an amazing support system on Facebook on theTTFLS group here - do come join us!

New QVC - featuring sneaky peeks and pics of deals from the next seven days so do go look! NB any Early Bird order links will appear first on my blog page here - do go look on a regular basis!

for info about my paperbacks and ebooks for sale now, go here 

for all my social media and to keep in touch go here

x

 

 

Since I've spent all week at the writing retreat Chez Castillon, with Jane Wenham Jones as tutor, this book seems very apt!

Anyone thinking of writing, this guide, by the prolific best seller Katie and the prolific skilled multi-platform writer Jane, may be a good first step.

This review just about sums it all up - 

"I've just finished reading this book - literally couldn't put it down. As well as being a really good book about writing, this is also very funny. I woke my husband by snorting out loud at her descriptions of genres. I loved the fact that the book is broken in to short sections so you can dip in and out if you want to. There is also really good practical advice about how to start, how to keep going, how other writers do it. But it's not just about writing, it's also about the writing business. Much as I've dabbled for years, I've decided now to apply my posterior to the chair and get on with it but I'd never even thought about what happens once the deal is made (dear God the thought of a promotional tour - must take the advice to get fit now!). The most important thing is that it has inspired me to actually do it and keep going. I'm going to read this again along with Stephen King's 'On Writing' whenever I'm lacking inspiration or direction. Plus if Jane's fiction writing is as funny as this book, I'm off to buy her other stuff."

And yes, Janes' novels are as funny and are definitely worth a read!

Go here to Amazon to find out more.

other news - 

- last minute offer to go to a tutored retreat in Devon If you've always wanted to get a book published , need help getting an agent, with your first chapter or submission letter, Sara Sarre can help - come to Retreats for You in Devon for four nights at the start of June and get a head start from a top editor and advisor for a top agent, Sara Sarre from the Blue Pencil Agency. More here.

RFY - and all the retreats are gradually getting booked up including the one for writing memoirs, the one with an editor who will help you with your first chapter and submission and the one with top author and book doctor Julie Cohen. More here.

Beginners’ Guide And if you’re a complete beginner and want to self-publish, my basic guide can be found here - beginner's tips for self-publishing - a summary of info, sites and links to help you on your way. Including my guest blog on prestigious industry website, TheCreativePenn.com, Go here to read more.

Archives Don’t forget to check out the other archives (to the left) for even more fabulous hints, tips, links and blogs.

Best wishes

Debs

X

My books - For the full list of my fiction and non fiction novels, novellas, short stories - info and links to buy them just go here. or see below.

As usual, here’s the round up of my own titles! I’d appreciate a review on Amazon (go here) and Goodreads (go here)! Enjoy! x

eBooks - all available on Amazon – paperback or eBook (kindle or kindle app or kindle on PC or Mac)

paperbacks – five fiction titles all available in paperback – via Amazon – see below.

 

 

FICTION

HAWAIIAN TRILOGY (2013/4) – romantic fiction in either steamy or PG options!

Book 1 Hawaiian Escape Steamy or Hawaiian Escape PG, the prequel to Hawaiian Affair - is now available on Amazon in eBook or paperback in both PG original and steamy (just released last week!).

Book 2 Hawaiian Affair Steamy - now called Take a Chance on Me, with Choc Lit publisher available on Amazon. Paperback coming to shops Dec 2015! yay!

Book 3 Hawaiian Retreat - Helen's Story - Just click this link to see steamy version. Paperback also available

DIARY OF A WANNABE SHOPPING CHANNEL PRESENTER – a stand alone story – Bridget Jones meets Alan Partridge meets Eddie Murphy in ‘Holy Man’ –click here to buy Ebook on amazon, and click here to buy paperback.

 

SHORT STORIES

‘When Dreams Return’ (2014) – spooky romantic short story – when Chelle’s pal Sara gets her to conjure up her ideal man with a full moon magic spell, she gets more than she bargained for… also appears in Hocus Pocus anthology.

The Valentine’s Surprise (2010) is a short story proving it’s never too late to find your Sir Galahad!

And Work in Progress, a compendium in paperback of Dairy of a Wannabe plus the two short stories in one volume.

Also – for Hallowe’en – an anthology of short spooky stories by 13 authors including many new shorts and my When Dreams Return in paperback! Hocus Pocus ’14 – ebook or paperback.

'Battle of the Exes', written for Valentine's Day 2015, features in 'Roses are Red' anthology of six short stories on Amazon ebook and paperback too.

NON-FICTION

Till the Fat Lady Slims 2.0 – the ‘When’ Diet - is my semi-autobiographical weight loss book – updated for 2014 to include the latest thinking about nutrition. Learn how to eat like slim people do.

Go here to get Till the Fat Lady Slims 3.0 – Tips and Tale to Inspire on amazon

Go here to get its predecessor (read 2.0 first) Till the Fat Lady Slims 2.0 – the When diet on amazon

Till the Fat Lady Slims 2017 version - 'how I broke free from Food Prison forever'

now available in bookshops to order, and online on all platforms, as well as on amazon here.

 

A Birthday in Bordeaux!

What a lovely birthday I had whilst on hols in france! Go here to see a super montage set to music, of some of the best pics but see below for lots of video clips too including the cute cat and funny hound! Go here.

First a special offer to subscribers for my newsletter on www.debbieflint.com  – if you are in need of an imminent get away – a full board (inc wine at dinner) break in Devon, then 2016 prices are on offer if you’re quick! For Mon-Fri weeks commencing JUNE 5th, 12th, 19th and a yoga retreat with healthy menus on 26th. Do email us This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. for info but do it quickly to get the £80 per person per night pricing (£92 for yoga week.) QVC viewers very welcome, on any of those weeks, particularly 19th. Let me know asap! (Also if you are a writer and need help editing or finding an agent, book an optional extra session with a superb editor on 5th.)

Castillon Celebrations

Ok so as promised here are the other video clips I created whilst in Castillon this week – what a lovely holiday I had! Tons of great food, lots of sleep, walks along the river and fun with the furry animals there – Rory the dog and Charlie the cat!

Walk along the river video – how beautiful is this?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4mSa0qIhYY

Charlie cat chasing Rory dog - funny video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LAOTMk-j9L8

Live from Castillon on Market Day

https://www.facebook.com/DebbieFlintauthorqvc/videos/1337617512987562/

Castillon pomp and ceremony - celebrations for ve day

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wH3fXXNdjPY

And some super montage pics from Facebook updates – go here to ‘like’ my page so you don’t miss the regular updates there!

  

 

 

Finally I have to play you this video of the funniest attempt by a kitten and breaking and entering! -

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmAvNzRAQU8

All in all a wonderful week, and one I will definitely repeat on a regular basis… If you’d like to go, visit www.chez-castillon.com

 

Book of the week is appropriate – Jane Wenham Jones was the tutor in Castillon this week, and if you’ve ever wanted to write yourself, check out her guide, written with Katie Fforde, my book of the week blog about it is here.

Plus check out my latest charity blog here including Molly the dog who rescues cats!

Latest QVC blog will appear on the qvcuk.com site on Friday as usual, including lots of pics from my birthday celebrations and a sneaky peek of one of the best fake tan offers we’ve ever done from Michelle Mone’s stable and the first before and after pics of my new kitchen at Retreats for You! Go here Friday pm onwards.

for info about my paperbacks and ebooks for sale now, go here 

for all my social media and to keep in touch go here

a short story to follow - pop back to my home page on my website in the week, here.

And don’t forget to put September 16th in the diary if you can come to our 40s and 50s evening in Torrington, Devon, and The Plough Arts Centre for MDD… more soon.

Best wishes

Debs

X

PS Are you bullied? I have to say how astounded I’ve been at the reactions to my series of blogs about emotional abusers on my website ’back to you’ blog. If you missed it, here are all the links – the first one has had nearly 3900 views now. Do forward them to someone who needs it, or who you think might need it – it’s amazing how a bit of knowledge and sharing makes someone feel not alone. It’s more common than you might think, and the one thing victims report is that ‘noone would believe me if I told them what he/she is like.’ Often they even are made to rewrite their own memories of their experiences afterwards, so it’s vital to let them into a world of info that might help. Final blog coming soon.

part one - narcissus -  emotional bullies  -introduction and some scary tales of abuse from my facebookers and newsletter gang. go here.

part two - getting the help you need or taking the first step and more tales from you guys

part three - why they will never change - it's in the brain and difficult to unlearn - ever. hard hitting truths about the narcissist. This blog.

 Other articles are online, are listed on parts one and two, and include this one -to help you understand if you have been subject to manipulation by a narcissistic personality at some level

Keep in touch with me, email me your story - especially if you too had your 'aha' moment, and broke free - it really can be done in most circumstances, especially with a pure narcissist. This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. Any story is a valuable story, even if you want to tell just me, just say, as getting it out can be very therapeutic, just as the below was for me. 

 

 

Pps ps a short story to follow - pop back to my home page on my website in the week, here.

Ps check out the new pic of all my paperbacks together! More about how to get your copy is here.

 

Ps my new Till the Fat Lady Slims book is now out on Amazon here, and there’s such an amazing support system on Facebook on theTTFLS group here - do come join us!

New QVC - featuring sneaky peeks and pics of deals from the next seven days so do go look! NB any Early Bird order links will appear first on my blog page here - do go look on a regular basis!

for info about my paperbacks and ebooks for sale now, go here 

for all my social media and to keep in touch go here

 

 

 

 

Molly the cat detective gets an article in the Guardian too! Well done MDD trained-dog Molly and Colin the detective owner!


https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/may/05/experience-my-dog-rescues-cats?CMP=share_btn_fb

 

Also - Dr Claire Guest was top of the alternative rich list for her invaluable work - well deserved!

 

read more here.

 

interveiwed on the BBC again recently talking about one of the latest projects from MDD - to detect malaria - especially important for malaria free countries, ref Zika virus. 

more here on bbc

Finally - another wonderful update about my sponsor dogs, Derek and Lesley (named via my donations , after my mum and dad)

more to follow

x

new short story - to come - pop back in the week...

SORRY - do subscribe to the newsletter (fill in the pop up box) as it'll be emailed out first to all subscribers... more soon promise x

OMG - oops. This pic is of the latest accident from Mrs Klutz here - well, from Wendy but she didn't realise I'd just washed red napkins in the washing machine and the remaining water did this... thing is, check out what's underneath all the towels in this little video -

click here to see it - in the pink - another boo boo!

Plus - Had a great response last week with lots of you replying with your suggestions for favourite songs for me to sing at the 40s and 50s gig in Torrington Devon at The Plough Arts Centre on Saturday September 16th.  Top faves included 'Summertime' and 'girl from ipanema' - I'll keep you informed! See the song list from my accompanists the Eric Gilchrist Trio on last week's blog here. And go here to hear the charity concert performance of two such songs, last November, to give you a flavour of what it'll be about - do come if you can. We'l be doing a tea rooms on the Sunday too. (close your eyes though - mum's bad camera work! hehe!)

And another busy week down in Devon - although I did weekdays at QVC 'cos I'm going away this weekend, I still popped back to oversee the latest refurb. This time it's the kitchen. There's a before pic going up on my QVC blog coming out on Friday pm here. Next week there'll be some cool after pics tho! Can't wait to see it when I get back from my hol!

Whilst down there I catch up on my social media and there's been some poignant messages to me recently - some of it heartbreaking. Yet more feedback from the thought provoking blogs I've been writing about emotional bullies. (go here to see the original blogs). There's been a real unveiling of what's going on in some people's lives and the truth is it's more frequent than we might realise. The latest blog is here, and it has probably the best summary of the issue I've ever read. What's more, a lovely lady affected terribly by bullying and abuse, has offered to help. Watch this space if you or someone you know is affected by it then it may be worth getting in touch.  It may be a new Facebook group which will be secret, by invitation only, and for those people who have given me their stories.

 

Book of the week - Liz Earle's good Gut Guide - finally more and more evidence that Freedom Eating's pivotal principle of listening to your body, received validation - and from a fabulous source! lovely Liz, who we have known for many years via her superb skin care sold on QVC, has released her new book. Do go read it. And if you're inspired, there's more about that subject along with other reasons why we can't lose weight and tips on how to overturn the habits of a lifetime in my TTFLs 3.0 book here.

Latest blog on QVC is out here with lots of sneaky peeks of the week ahead on QVC plus funnies incl the most unusual things to do with a dolls head...! 

And don't forget to stay in touch with me via Facebook - 'like' the page here to access all the updates, including my regular vlogs from my walks in the picturesque Devon countryside. Plus do  'like' the Retreats for You page here if you're a writer and fancy a super full board retreat down in Devon at some stage!

much love for a happy week!

Debs

x

ps am off to France this week for my birthday and looking forward to relaxing and walking Rory the dog down by the Dordogne - bliss! Tables turned as it's the writing retreat I've been to a couple of times previousy - regulars may remember it!

ps a short story to follow - pop back to my home page on my website in the week, here.

Ps check out the new pic of all my paperbacks together! More about how to get your copy is here.

Ps my new Till the Fat Lady Slims book is now out on Amazon here, and there’s such an amazing support system on Facebook on theTTFLS group here - do come join us!

New QVC - featuring sneaky peeks and pics of deals from the next seven days so do go look! NB any Early Bird order links will appear first on my blog page here - do go look on a regular basis!

for info about my paperbacks and ebooks for sale now, go here 

for all my social media and to keep in touch go here

this is part three - find part one here and part two here.

It's a tough topic but the message keeps coming through about how these bullies have a personality disorder  - and with all the reading comes a real enlightenment about this thing called a narcissistic psychopath. I have loved finding out more and doing research, because I'm a geek like that. But I also am very very pleased that it is helping people. I have lost count of the number of people who have private messaged me and just said thank you for sharing information like this as it has made them feel not so alone. Obviously there is a very big community online for a very wide range of videos you can also watch on youtube. You need never feel alone again.

But this topic of the mind is so important - this week Anthony Robbins was back in London doing his unleash the power within seminars, something I went to 17 years ago and it helped to radically change my viewpoint. Everything is based around what you think about it, you only get treated how you love yourself to be treated, you are only affected by things that you allow to affect you. And generally speaking if you have a positive outlook, people get positive results, and I don't mean in a namby-pamby way, I mean in a very down-to-earth practical make it happen type way. I believe that everything happens for a reason, and the things that happened to me in the last six months have led to a much better place. Read more about it below.

This week one of my brothers who is training to be a counsellor, sent me another link - it's possibly the best explanation of this personality disorder I have read so far. So do read it if you're not sure whether you're in a relationship with one or not - you just know you feel put down all the time and like you're coming second to someone else's needs - even if they love-bombed you at the start and made you think that was their true self.

go here to read it - Dealing with a Narcissist - the only method guaranteed to work

 

Upon Reflection... 

On another note, I saw 'Their Finest' this week and it made me go into reflective mood. If you go watch this amazing film set in WW2 about the Ministry of Defence using home made films to helpl the war effort, starring Gemma Arterton (stellar) and Bill Nighy (outstanding) and the breathtaking Sam Claflin (phwoar) (also in Me After You). Reflective because along with all these blogs I'm writing about relationships, it made me reconsider my own history, but this time with a more pragmatic approach.

I have to say I too have been a glutton for punishment, staying with a bully or a narcissist, even though they were lesser versions, they were still bullies and narcissists. See below. Almost always, looking back to that first unusual period of our relationship where he was really nice to me, thinking we could go back to then as that's who he really was. Nah. They call it 'love bombing...'

LOVEBOMBING - BEWARE THAT 'HE/SHE'S THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME' FEELING if it then changes permanently to something awful...

So they give off a different representation of themselves at the start. And that's why, if I ever look back and get all nostalgic and wish 'things were how they used to be' and 'we can get back what we had at the beginning' it helps to remember that the beginning was a false start, and that the person you dealt with at the end was actually the real him.

Sometimes that tactic works and they woo you and get their feet under the table and only then, when they've 'got you' does their true self starts to emerge - one who resents their partner's independent thinking and social life and gets angry any time they don't agree. I have had several experiences of this variation on a theme, one of them with ar guy who had a great job (on paper at least) but having been a spoilt only child with a big chip on his shoulder, he gradually revealed himself as a grade A Feck-wit.... and a long enduring relationship with a man who put himself first and believed his own rhetoric but kept me tied up in his fantasies for years... and another who was a bit of a waster but I believed the best in him... see my story below.

Meanwhile if you are reading this and you haven't yet read the originals - go here to - 

part one - narcissus -  emotional bullies  -introduction and some scary tales of abuse from my facebookers and newsletter gang. go here.

part two - getting the help you need or taking the first step and more tales from you guys

part three - why they will never change - it's in the brain and difficult to unlearn - ever. hard hitting truths about the narcissist. This blog.

 Other articles are online, are listed on parts one and two, and include this one - to help you understand if you have been subject to manipulation by a narcissistic personality at some level

Keep in touch with me, email me your story - especially if you too had your 'aha' moment, and broke free - it really can be done in most circumstances, especially with a pure narcissist. This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. Any story is a valuable story, even if you want to tell just me, just say, as getting it out can be very therapeutic, just as the below was for me. 

best wishes

debs

x

MY STORY -

Wanting to believe the dream and seeing the best in others.

It's again a fact of life that my family and loved ones know something ironic about me - they tell me I always see the best in people. And often when they say it, they are not being complimentary. They are explaining away the reason why, yet again, I've given someone the benefit of the doubt, and made excuses for their ongoing 'wrong' behaviour, ignoring all the outside signs that are so clear to others. So no wonder I'm sometimes left with yet another 'what was I thinking' phase tucked firmly into my past. Men eh, huh.

Looking back it really does seem clear, now, but then hindsight is a wonderful thing, especially knowing what I now know about all this stuff!

'Nat'

One was a bit broken, and declared he could not leave his job which he hated, because he was just stuck. I obviously - at the time - thought that things might change and I could help change them. Yes I was a fixer. But no more. Looking back, it's easy to see how this person was not presenting a true image of himself to me, especially at the start. Being more attentive, being more focussed on me rather than themselves. Being more able to accept certain things about my life and activities that later they began to put down or criticize. And being very careful to keep from me habits they knew would not sit well with a long term relationship with me. He wasn't necessarily a NP (narcissistic psychopath) but he was definitely not appropriate for me as a partner. I'm being kind, here.

'Roy'

Roy WAS one, however. With a vengeance. He was confident, gave off a complete whitewash of devotion at the start and gradually began to object to my friends and even my family. He insidiously sapped away my confidence until a year later, coupled with an awful time elsewhere in my life, he was part of the reason why I went on anti-depressants for the only time in my life. He did nasty things and was generally vile to me, yet bit by bit I accepted each stage - for a multitude of reasons but mainly because once we got back to the nice bit, he promised it would all be ok thereafter. Which of course it never was. Circumstances kept me going back to him, more of what happened is here on a previous blog and also in my 2017 till the Fat Lady Slims book, which relates how it affected my weight. 

I should have known better really when one night quite early on, he kicked me viciously when i slid into bed with him after arriving late and he was already asleep, and i put my cold feet on his leg. Nasty - should have got out right then and there shouldn't I? Or when I got treated like second class when he took down my new home card when his ex wife arrived to see his new place, but kept hers up when I arrived. Or worst of all, when we went for a meal at a local restaurant, and he raised his voice during a row and silenced the restaurant - over something stoopid I can't even recall. I walked all the way home crying, but still did not kick him out when he got back afterwards, saying sorry. Jesus. If that was my child I was listening to, I would go kill the bastard, wouldn't you? Anyone with a story along these lines, DO NOT PUT UP WITH IT especially if it's early on, or not too late to escape - like, you don't own property, you aren't married, you don't have kids together or work together and if you split up you could easily not haave to see them again around the town. GET OUT and practice ZERO contact (see last week's blog).

 

Ant

Even my first husband was a bit of a Narc. He was totally a love bomber at the start, but also continued it throughout especially following transgressions (which in the days before mobiles was hard to prove otherwise, but I later found out he WAS actually playing away - with countless women during our 14 years together it eventually turned out.) He also found it hard to remain proud of me when my career really took off and got resentful , he admitted, when he had to play second fiddle, assuming I was always off having affairs. Where really HE was the one being a serial philanderer, but in judging me by his own standards, he turned the spotlight on me. He also began putting our children down, in an insidious way, small but constant sniping and undermining their image of themselves - he had probably had the same thing from his own dad , to be fair, but still no excuse. When we split up, and I could do all the care-giving alone for our two lovely kids, they instead got told they did indeed know what was best for themselves, that they could achieve anything they wanted to if they wanted it enough, and never put them down in that nasty sly way, just to make himself feel better about his own life. I'll never forget when he didn't turn up for my son's rugby match one Sunday, having said he would, which made my son think he finally mattered to his dad, leaving my poor son in tears cos his dad didn't show. That was my son's 'aha' moment I think, and he's been forever at peace with the sometime uncle he calls dad. He's an arsehole, said a friend of mine way back then - a loveable arsehole, but an arsehole nonetheless, she said. And I think that sums most of them up, don't you? Now he's there for them occasionally on the phone, never supported them financially, that's been only down to me - no holidays or clothes or pressies to speak of, and on the end of a phone from time to time, but not really ever in a strongly supportive way, you know? But they are the strong, secure people they are in spite of him, not because of him, and that's fine. Everything happens for a reason, so my being alone in my fifties instead of nursing a thirty year strong relationship with what I believed for so long was a good man, is the price I'm willing to pay for having freed my two kids of the chains that bound them to playing second fiddle to a part time narcissist. Maybe I'll choose better next time...

 

Douglas

Another recent experience at least proved to myself that I am now capable of not giving in over and over again. That old adage of 'fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me' was very true when I became involved in the tangled web spun by Douglas - who had very blue eyes and was a hunky but small guy, a couple of years ago now. Douglas had me at hello, such a connection, both physical and almost tangible, which was confirmed by a text he sent me admitting he was attracted to me, after which we began a tentative journey towards a relationship, despite the fact that he was trying to get out of his current one. Thing was, his partner was clearly a narcissistic psychopath. Anyone who knew her well, and there were many people who later came out of the woodwork, had many tales to tell. So I believed his spin on his life. She had treated her animals better than him, gave him no attention, little sex, was jealous of everything he did and everyone he mixed with and he needed to get out. Then he tried to twice, dumping her, only to be reeled back in afterwards. The second time, the 'fool me twice' kicked in, and I told him that, even though NOTHING physical had significantly happened between us (nor would it, it turned out) I could not play along with his journey, and there could be no 'us' all the while he was not single, not even talking about there being an us.

I was glad to have made that decision.

He tried to dump her again, then a third time after which she sought treatment which apparently made his job far more difficult and made her tolerable. My experiences above had made me alerted to putting myself into a situation whereby I was being treated second best, and told him that - reminding him every so often when it started to feel like we were getting closer again, as we continued to work together and he continued to regale me with a commentary on his situation. It was hard, since I truly believed in this guy and the way he portrayed his situation - turns out it was archetypal narcissist / co-dependant behaviour - as over and over again he told me how bad it was, including in texts (which I kept to prove to myself how it had turned bad, should my poor lovelorn mind put on its rose tinted spectacles of memory and get all nostalgic for 'how it used to be' or for 'what could have been.')

Still looking back, I fear his true situation is an awful one and his life will continue to be bad once things revert to their original patterns.

But eventually, when 'we' crashed and burned, he sent me a long text claiming that the reality was far removed from him being that person he'd portrayed to me - which was difficult to believe given the certainty I'd experienced with my own eyes from someone sitting in front of me, crushed, sad and obviously lonely. He'd said he was a shadow of his former confident self, had 'lost his sense of self' etc - which was why it all resonated when I started reading up on Narcissistic patterns. He even said he'd cried one time when thinking about having a new life and going to a family wedding with me later in the year... a grown man, crying. So sad. I felt for him as he'd described to me having no reciprocated sex life to speak of,  of being questioned about everything and everyone he was with every day. And of being ostracised from his friends and potential other jobs, due to the aggro it created at home. By now I'd told him we could not 'be'. But still he kept coming back to work with me, and still he and I felt that connection. So I knew it had to be forced to end, so I guess having written all about my thoughts in a blog, which he did not like, the outcome in the long term turned out to be a satisfactory one. Cut a long story short, he ended up showing me his true colours, his other side, none of which I'd seen, when he appeared one day in bully mode and I saw the light. If he was partly a NP himself, or on substances which helped to explain it all, who knows - I wouldn't have said so, but I was past caring by then. However upset I got, I still decided it was best if we did not work together again, so that was it. Except it wasn't, since no NP likes to be wrong-footed. But nevertheless I rode it through and got out relatively unscathed.

People know the truth - ones who matter do anyway - and I can hold my own head up high as my own behaviour was something to be proud of, given what he'd said and done to me, and how he'd behaved to her, the person who by the end he was holding up as the love of his life. He then sent that long text, claiming all he'd said about her was his own fault.

OR... could it possibly have been that final text was written BY her, or for her - which amounts to the same thing - from one who was trapped by a NP, hook line and sinker. I care not either way. By the end, it was easy to look back and despite being worried for him, and caring about his well being and having tried my best to listen and be a good friend, he turned on me just as soon as he realised I did not give a monkeys any more and was not under his own spell any more either.  

After all, I see the best in people don't I? 

 

Should I stop?

Should I stop? Should I assume that the next man is also someone to be wary of? Or should I go on in my eternal belief that people are good and true and to be given the benefit of the doubt until proved otherwise? That one day there WILL be a man who will be my equal, genuinely, not one pretending to be. That one day there will be a partner who I can truly rely on? A psychic said (and therefore it MUST be true (!)) that there will be a new man - one with whom things will be 'easy' and not full of baggage and conflict and difficulty. One who will be strong and supportive and be able to be the win d beneath MY wings rather than me eternally being his. Or trying to. Well whatever, one thing's for sure. I will be wary of 'love-bombing' and things being too good to be true. In the end, I'm not. What I offer is not - at least, for the right person. But sadly I won't trust quite to easily next time. 

Hoping there'll be a next time...

Debs

x

 

 

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